your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
