My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
