So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
