He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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