Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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