It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
