My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
