You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We are all done wearing pants today
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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