im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
