p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
