I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
