Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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