She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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