Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
