He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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