the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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