She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
