Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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