arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
