weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
