the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
