THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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