I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
