what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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