we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
