Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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