Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
