So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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