just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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