Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She is in my trunk
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
