She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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