I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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