so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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