it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
