me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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