oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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