he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
