return my video game
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize