Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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