Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
