We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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