i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We need a shit load of segways right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
