You really coming over, don't trick.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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