I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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