I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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