he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
