You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
