i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
