So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
