Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
