I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
