Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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