am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I AM VODKA MAN
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
