3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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