i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
