So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I came so hard my ears popped.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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