Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
