dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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