god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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