Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
