Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
