Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize