Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
