i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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