don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
