I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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