As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
