I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize