walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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