Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
