There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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