Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
