Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
