I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize