i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
