I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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