i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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