i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
