True but thats because hes a fetus.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
